The Ultimate Wardrobe

This is what happens when I have an 8 hour workday and no Conquer Club to pass the time: a detailed rundown on what I think the ultimate wardrobe would be. I bet you consider yourself as one of the luckiest individuals alive. I certainly would.

Most people think of the ultimate wardrobe as something filled with extravagant items purchased for hundreds or thousands of dollars, but not me. No, my ultimate wardrobe is a perfect synthesis of functionality and awesomeness.

Here is a breakdown on what I would own in a perfect world:

8 T-Shirts - They would likely not be plain shirts, but rather with some sort of witty quote or picture on the front. Most likely purchased from Woot Shirt and would be in a variety of colors.

8 Long Sleeve T-Shirts - Used mostly for layering purposes in the colder months, they would be in a variety of colors and plain with no designs on the front. Although, sometimes on a relaxed day I wear them by themselves.

2 Hoodies - One of these would be the pullover kind, and the other a zipper front. I like to keep one that is really thick for when I don't want to wear a coat, and the other for random use. I suppose that one of them should be representing some alma mater pride though.

3 Sweaters - Sometimes I feel like looking a little fancy, so I like to keep some lightweight, more formal looking sweaters around. Probably a dark red, dark blue, and a black or gray if I had my choice.

2 White Dress Shirts - Obviously for church and/or temple patronage. Also, just in case I ever am forced to attend some type of formal function.

6 Colored Dress Shirts - Sooner or later I'm going to have to wear them on a regular basis, so I would enjoy having a bit of variety around the office or for semi-formal affairs. Contrary to popular belief, I do know how to dress like a pro sometimes, just ask Shyla about her friends when we were younger.

25 Ties - You might think this is a high number, but in actuality it isn't. I'm not talking the cheap $12 ties from Target either, I'm meaning the high quality ties from somewhere like Sears, JC Penney, or Dillards. Anyone who has been on a mission knows the importance of a classy tie collection with a few wild cards thrown in for shock value. I like to consider myself a tie expert on the weekends if you will.

Watch - Everyone needs a watch, well, at least everyone who considers themself a part of the male gender. Women can get away without one, but not men. I like my fancy watch that Holly bought me for our first anniversary. I need to wear it more often I think.

2 Belts - I need to have one for casual things, most likely brown in color to go with my jeans and shorts and whatnot, and then a nice black one for fancier occasions. I go through belts pretty fast though, so they'll probably need to be replaced often. I also don't like the skinny ones, they've got to fill the entire belt loop or it just looks silly.

14 Pairs of Long Socks - You can never have too many socks. I like mine to go to mid-calf and not much higher, and they can't have really tight elastic, or my large feet don't fit into them all that well. Hanes are the best if at all possible I've learned.

14 Pairs of Short Socks - I look silly wearing long socks with shorts, so the summer months require socks all their own.

3 Pairs of Dress Socks - Just to be on the safe side, even though I only wear them on Sunday.

4 Pairs of Jeans - They have to fit properly though, and I'm pretty picky. I'd get them in 2 or 3 shades of blue for a bit of variety throughout the week.

2 Pairs of Khakis - Two different colors, but nothing too dark or too light, then you just look a bit fruity.

3 Pairs of Shorts - Pockets are a must, preferably lots of them, and not in denim.

1 Suit - I often wonder if I can pull off the pinstripe, and in actuality I know that I can as I've done it several times before, but nothing works quite like the classic black suit, so that is what I'll settle on here. It must be at least a 3 button, preferably 4 if possible.

Swimming Trunks - Yes, yes, I know I don't like to go swimming, but sometimes it is a necessity, so I might as well have a cool pair of trunks when those times roll around.

Sandals - I like my sandals, so I'll keep them.

Dress Shoes - I think it would be worthwhile to have a pair in black and another in brown. Heaven knows my sisters were mortified when I used to wear my brown shoes with my black pants to church on Sunday. The horror!

Casual Shoes - 1 pair of tennis shoes for everyday use, plus a pair of smart looking semi-fancy shoes to go with the moods when I feel like dressing up a little bit.

Pajama Pants - I have my froggy pants, so I'm set here.

Gym Shorts - Probably best if I have 3 or 4 pairs, hopefully with some kind of pocket or storage capacity. I like to wear these if I'm doing something that breaks a sweat or that may get me extremely dirty.

I think that is everything. It goes without saying that I would obviously have the appropriate number of underpants and such to make life worth living. I just figured they didn't need their own entry.